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Post by flipsk8r1409 on Aug 12, 2008 8:11:05 GMT -5
so i finally wrote a song that actually fits together and added some drums to it it actually came out decent heres the tabs for it www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=fba34fcd6f6d1f0ed2db6fb9a8902bda anyone that wants to look id really appreciate some constructive critisism from anyone but especially from like crazyboy canped or hzac ( i lol'd a little at that last one )... now if i just had a way to make a decent recording of it that would be nice
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Post by canped on Aug 12, 2008 8:54:17 GMT -5
I liked the diminished groove at the start but the rest seems like tacked-on stock riffs and solos. Get an idea and work with it, don't just suddenly change everything for no reason- it nmakes everything feel really disjointed and there's no need for it. The opening riff is good and you should work with it and develop round it. It reminds me of Deep Sleep by Therapy?, you should check that out.
Avoid guitar solos where possible.
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Post by flipsk8r1409 on Aug 12, 2008 10:42:45 GMT -5
Well im still trying to get a good feel for writing guitar parts and compared to the other songs i have wrote that one blends 100 times better. Im not really trying to write anything extrodinary right now im just trying to write something that sounds good together and so far i dont think that sounds to bad. But listen to this one and tell me what you think of it www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=fba34fcd6f6d1f0ed2db6fb9a8902bda
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Post by canped on Aug 12, 2008 11:28:38 GMT -5
Which one? that links to all your files
If its the one called where were you, I can't get it because my software can't read it
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Post by flipsk8r1409 on Aug 12, 2008 18:18:49 GMT -5
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Post by canped on Aug 12, 2008 19:53:56 GMT -5
Hmmm... I quite like some of the solos in that one, actually- good melody. However, the song is really basic and I would consider maybe using this as an intro to something bigger, and augmenting the chords or adding a second guitar.
The lyrics... have you got a favourite poet? I think you should really go study some (I know it sounds boring, but trust me) because although these are probably good enough to be number 1/sell a million copies in underground sucess or whatever you want, it doesn't change the fact that they aren't any good, really. Think about what yu're trying to SAY- do you even have anything to say? It doesn't matter if you dont', but just don't try to inject meaning or emotion that isn't really there into your lyrics. If you do, you're nom better My Chemical Romace "I'm not OKAYYYYY"... what the fuk are you talking about, you whiney dick?! You're fine. Piss off.
Umm... yeah, anyway- nice solos, maybe you should work on some mellow lead stuff but learn about augmenting chords and don't sound like MCR whatever you do.
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Post by flipsk8r1409 on Aug 13, 2008 7:51:03 GMT -5
this was my first attempt at trying to write a softer song lyrics wise i was just not in a good mood trying to get some fecal matter off my chest ya know. Usually i end up writing metal songs ( lyrics wise i could try guitar wise its just im not at that level yet ) oh and btw there was only one solo i actually liked in that first song i posted in this thread
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